Surrender

When I was ten I knew my life’s destination. Marriage, career, family, house, etc. I had no definitive plan, but I knew with all my heart that this place was I was meant to go.

Control is a funny thing. We think we have it until something happens that makes us realize it is an illusion. We hold on for dear life to the idea but we never actually touch it...control is almost always beyond us.

When I went for the ten year old’s dream destination...I thought I had control. I made the choice, I was in the driver’s seat. Then I woke up one day and I was divorced. The control I thought I had, the full proof plan I’d created for my life wasn’t reality. In hindsight I should have let go but letting go of childhood dreams is hard. So I did it again. Married, my choice, control was within my reach…

Divorce. Again.

Divorce isn’t just the end of a relationship it’s the death of a dream. It is humbling and sad and lonely. Among many other things, it taught me that control is not the way; the way is to surrender and let go. It is also worth mentioning that the ideas of what life should look life that are thrust upon us as children often give us expectations that conflict with the way life really is. Ten year old me had no idea not having kids, or a house, or a relationship could still make a happy life.

Surrender is so beautiful. It is the step of faith over the ledge and the exhale after the deep breath. When you surrender to your life it is not a failure to achieve your dreams. It is having faith...trusting your dreams are always possible...always within reach and around every corner. When you surrender control and live in the moment you are truly alive. And alive is where dreams become reality.