The Question
How do I know you won't leave me?
The truth is harsh because I don't know. In all our days, months, years, I may can never know for sure you won't wake up one morning with a mind to walk out the door and never look back.
Life is uncertain and that's scary.
I could be perfect...the perfect girlfriend, perfect lover, cook your favorite meals, give you a massage every day, walk your dog, be everything you need and still there would be uncertainty. I've always thought if I were perfect no one would have ever left me...alone...heartbroken. But it's not that simple. Uncertainty isn't dependent on perfection. Life is imperfect and a huge part of that is what's unknown.
So in loving you...in that pause before I fall completely...my heart asks the question.
How do I know you won't leave me?
I gaze at your face, watch your lips move as you find the words to tell me how you feel, memorize every expression and nuance that makes you unique. I ask the question in my heart and I realize it doesn't matter...not even a little. On our first date when my gut told me that to know you would be a gift, my heart chose you. Every time I hear your voice wash over me, when our hands seem to just find each other without thought I choose you.
How do I know you won't leave me?
I don't.
I love you, I choose you, and that is enough.
The truth is harsh because I don't know. In all our days, months, years, I may can never know for sure you won't wake up one morning with a mind to walk out the door and never look back.
Life is uncertain and that's scary.
I could be perfect...the perfect girlfriend, perfect lover, cook your favorite meals, give you a massage every day, walk your dog, be everything you need and still there would be uncertainty. I've always thought if I were perfect no one would have ever left me...alone...heartbroken. But it's not that simple. Uncertainty isn't dependent on perfection. Life is imperfect and a huge part of that is what's unknown.
So in loving you...in that pause before I fall completely...my heart asks the question.
How do I know you won't leave me?
I gaze at your face, watch your lips move as you find the words to tell me how you feel, memorize every expression and nuance that makes you unique. I ask the question in my heart and I realize it doesn't matter...not even a little. On our first date when my gut told me that to know you would be a gift, my heart chose you. Every time I hear your voice wash over me, when our hands seem to just find each other without thought I choose you.
How do I know you won't leave me?
I don't.
I love you, I choose you, and that is enough.
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