Third Time's a Charm: Finding the Extraordinary in an Ordinary Life

How do I know you won't leave me? The truth is harsh because I don't know. In all our days, months, years, I may can never know for sure you won't wake up one morning with a mind to walk out the door and never look back. Life is uncertain and that's scary. I could be perfect...the perfect girlfriend, perfect lover, cook your favorite meals, give you a massage every day, walk your dog, be everything you need and still there would be uncertainty. I've always thought if I were perfect no one would have ever left me...alone...heartbroken. But it's not that simple. Uncertainty isn't dependent on perfection. Life is imperfect and a huge part of that is what's unknown.  So in loving you...in that pause before I fall completely...my heart asks the question. How do I know you won't leave me?  I gaze at your face, watch your lips move as you find the words to tell me how you feel, memorize every expression and nuance that makes you unique. I ask th

My heart has been broken. On the floor in a million pieces. Broken. And in those moments I thought the sharp, stinging pain was endless. That the knife run through my heart would kill me, and I would never be able to breathe again. My heart has been abused. Manipulated and taken for granted. Abused. The darkness of insecurity held me, wrapped its cold arms around me. Self-doubt crawled up my spine, worthlessness found A place in my heart to call home.  My heart has been broken, my heart has been abused. A man, twisted and screwed up in ways I will never understand Had the power to bring my spirit to its knees. I let him take my heart, squeeze it so hard blood ran down his fingers, My tears staining the earth at his feet. This part of my life, long over, still lives in my memory. I still recall helplessness, the word victim, secretly Burned on my forehead. I remember feeling like my heart was dying a slow death, Like I was trapped, that the only love I deserved Was t

Changes.  Like leaves, chlorophyll breaking down the green exposing vibrant red and yellow, changes alter my life. They strip away the familiar and bring my inner light back into the world. Changes snap, set me free from bare tree bones. I drift like a solitary leaf on the wind...I feel the breeze through my limbs and the sun on my face. For the first time in years I am moving...I am alive.  Changes. Sometimes they hit me hard. I am punched in the stomach and the force sends me reeling. Other times they sneak up on me, before I realize what is happening my body is travelling that slippery slope into the unknown. Lately, I have been somewhere in the middle. I was punched but I did not fall...I slid but remained strong in my footing. Moments like these I know whatever changes are coming will be good ones. They will challenge my spirit and my heart will discover new ways to open.  Changes. For a long time I've been hiding. I have allowed my light to diminish believing it was